I sat on a park bench after my walk today. I'd usually head home once I was done with my walking but this day was already different. I sat down. I've been thinking so much lately and today I was thinking about where I want to go with my life. I was nervous because every time I do this, I reveal to myself a part of me that I have so long cared only to ignore.
I was lost in my own world, I was talking to myself, explaining what I needed to do. I am crazy that way. I am. So, when I finally sat down, I stopped to think about everything else that was not present in that moment. That was when I saw her. She sat on a bench beside mine, a notable distance separating us. I saw her and yet I couldn't. I wasn't wearing my glasses. I am half-blind that way.
She seemed unimportant. Because, at that moment I was being selfish. I did not want to think of anything better than myself. I watched the other people walking, I watched the hovering bird that went round and round in circles over my head, I watched the insufficient lights, and I watched the screaming traffic outside the park. Then, she got up. She walked on the sidewalk lining the park and crossed me.
It was then I saw her. She was now in my focal range. At that minute, my heart ached for her. She walked past me, a pale, stooped figure walking with a shrunken, unsure gait. She had a fair face, as fair as a full moon. She was beautiful too although she had covered herself to reveal little. In my head, I ran to her and asked her if she was alright. That face, that walk, that stooping image, it spoke volumes of how life had been troubling her. She was weak, fragile. And, she walked with such cheap energy that her legs trembled as they walked. I looked at this figure and yet I could not build out any plausible explanation for her condition. She was a new bride. Her ill-concealed "new-bride bangles" gave her away. And, this realization brought greater pain to my suffering.
Because now, I had stories spinning in my mind- stories that would help me solve this mysterious being, to come up with some explanation- fiction or non, it did not matter. She seemed not to care of what was happening around her, nothing affected her. She walked unaware of her surroundings, unaware of where she was, or at least that is what I thought. She must have been ill, she could have lost her love, she could have been tortured. I shook my thoughts, No No No. Please don't hurt this girl. She is so young. So weak.
I don't know why she suddenly became important. I watched her for a long time, my thoughts following her. I was scared too. What if she fell, she seemed so fragile? What would I do? I looked around for people who could come to help. I looked at her, traced where she was going. It is a small park, you cannot lose track of someone, even if you are half-blind like me.
I wanted to be there, just in case. I was there anticipating a fall in the very next step. But, she managed to keep walking. She would change directions, consciously or sub-consciously, I'd never know. Sometimes, she just stopped and looked about. What, I'd never know. But, she did not stop.
It was growing dark. There was no moon tonight. There were no stars. There was just this person and there was I. She walked and I watched. Somewhere during all of this, I think, I saw her crying. Or maybe I didn't. And yet, she was there. Her presence so strong, so forlorn, so close. I don't know why she attracted, why she looked so different even above her obvious state. Why was it that I saw her? Why was she even there? A million questions bubbled inside of me. Lots of them unanswered just like her.
She eventually took a turn and blurred away. I walked home. We both walked our separate ways. She ignorant of me and I "ignorant" of her. A walk to remember.
